It all started when, in the middle of a story on stage about all the respectful dudes I keep meeting on tinder, I said, “And by the way, if any of you are going out with a lot of asshats and psychos online, you’re probably doing it wrong. I’d be happy to chat about it after the show.” Sure enough, three girls came up at the end and kept me there for over an hour, drilling me with questions, then slapping their foreheads with a “duh, why didn’t I see that coming?” when I explained my firewall system. They started to see it was their approach, not tindr, that was failing them. In that moment, as they thanked me profusely, I felt like all my shitty hook-ups and dating experiences from yesteryear finally had a purpose other than to make people laugh.
There was actual wisdom behind them.
Getting old makes you realize how much you want to have an impact. A purpose. And telling stories in dark rooms to drunk people isn’t really doing it for me anymore. I need more. So I’ve been focusing a lot on my work within the world of public speaking.
I took a chance back in October and told my most tragic story ever, only this time I did it without performing or going for only the laughs. Instead I included the ugly, brutally honest shit too, and even exposed myself as someone more sensitive and flawed than this guarded tough chick on stage who usually hides behind stories about fucking a lot of dudes. Well, this hour-long Risk! episode blew up. I got Facebook messages and tweets and comments on my blog from men and women I’d never met, all telling me how much my story educated them, comforted them, inspired them, or sometimes even lit a fire under their asses to make pretty drastic changes in their lives. That’s when I knew I should probably change gears here. Jokes are easy for me.
But what’s not so easy is bearing my soul to an audience in order to get a profound point across. Or having an audience captivated in silence instead of reaffirming my ego or sense of worth with their laughs. Saying shit that moves people and makes them think is a huge responsibility yet unbelievably rewarding. And I’m loving it. Turns out, I’m quite good at it too.
Only now, I punch people in the gut before I make them laugh.
So public speaking is what I’m focusing more of my time on these days. I combine storytelling, humor, insights, experience, and take aways to help people, both men and women, navigate the world of dating, relationships, hookup culture, sex and how to listen to your intuition instead of your ego in all these areas. How to see the truth about the people you want to jump or date instead of what you want to see. How to not believe the endless bullshit your brain tells you. And how to both recognize and communicate what you want and need… and what you don’t. Basically how to value yourself and trust your gut in a scary world that beats you down and wants you to be afraid of everyone. Because once you trust yourself, there’s nothing to be scared of.
Life should not feel like a Law and Order SVU episode.
If you want to book me for a speaking event or as a guest lecturer, email me at email@example.com
March 20th, 2017
Guest lecturer at NY Film Academy in LA.
April 23rd, 2017
Professional speaker at Locker Room Talk in San Francisco (and event by Planned Parenthood and Culture of Consent).
Professional speaker at Northeastern University, Boston