It all started when, in the middle of a story on stage about all the respectful dudes I keep meeting on tinder, I said, “And by the way, if any of you are meeting a lot of asshats and psychos, you’re probably doing it wrong. I’d be happy to chat after the show.” Well, three girls came up afterward and kept me there for over an hour, drilling me with questions then slapping their foreheads when my truth bombs hit ’em where it hurt. They could finally see it was their approach, not tindr itself, that sucked. In that moment, as they thanked me profusely, I realized all my shitty hook-ups and dating experiences from yesteryear finally had a purpose other than to make people laugh.
They had actual wisdom behind them.
Getting old makes you realize how much you want to have an impact. And a higher purpose. I don’t have kids so my creative life is what does that for me. But telling stories in dark rooms to drunk people isn’t as fullfilling anymore. So I’ve been transitioning away from the world of just jokes and into something much more meaningful to me.
I took a chance back in October and told my most tragic story ever, but this time, without performing it or going strictly for laughs. I included the ugly and disturbing shit too and even let myself be someone other than this guarded tough chick who fucks a lot of dudes. Well, this hour-long Risk! episode blew up. I got emails and tweets and comments on this here blog from men and women I’d never met, all telling me how much my story educated them, comforted them, inspired them, or sometimes even lit a fire under their asses, leading them to make pretty drastic changes in their lives. That’s when I knew I should probably change gears here. I know I’m funny. Jokes are easy for me. And entertaining people with my dark humor is what I’ve leaned on my whole life.
But what’s not so easy is bearing my soul on stage in order to get really profound points across. Or having an audience captivated in silence instead of reaffirming my ego or sense of worth with their laughs. Saying shit that moves people and makes them think is a huge responsibility yet unbelievably rewarding. So I’m loving it. And I’m finding I’m quite good at it too.
I make people laugh after I punch them in the gut and make them think.
So that’s what I’m doing a lot more of now. Talking to large groups of people about things I know a lot about. I combine storytelling, humor, insights, experience, and take aways to help people, both men and women, navigate the world of dating, relationships, hookup culture, sex and how to listen to your intuition instead of your ego and respect yourself and others in all these areas. How to see the truth when the people you wanna date or hump are feeding you bullshit and your own mind turns on you and convinces you it knows better than your gut. Oh how tricky that ego can be! It’s hard to sift through the nonsense we don’t want to see, but doing so helps us trust ourselves more and not be so afraid of a world full of nutjobs.
If you want to book me for a speaking event or as a guest lecturer, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Guest lecturer at NY Film Academy in LA.
Professional speaker at Northeastern University, Boston