Thursday’s are when Mr. Jerry comes to sing songs for the residents. My dad is not a fan. “Who’s this jerkwad?” my dad asked every five minutes. And then he’d say “I don’t want to listen to this shit.” The thing he says at the end of this clip is the greatest. Jerry was fantastic but my dad is a tough crowd.
The staff here love my dad’s sense of humor and tease him about it. Today they gave him a big bowl of vegetables as a joke as his lunch. He said “I’m not eating that bullshit,” and they all laughed. I’ve never seen my dad eat a vegetable in my whole life. Some things will never change.
Also, that thing Jerry does with his lips is amazing.
Also, one of the adorable ladies here asked Mr. Jerry where he was from. He said Nashville then asked her. She said Missouri. Then he played a song about Missouri dedicated to her and at the end she clapped and said. “Where you from?” And they had the same conversation three more times and she couldn’t believe the “coincidence” that he played a song about Missouri. This is just as comical as it is sad.
Okay I’m officially terrified of this cat. We got some Pet Cemetary shit going on up in here. I’m literally hiding on my bed cuz the cat won’t let me off. I think it’s cuz this is the room that newscaster lady died in last year. Also, this cat can open doors by hanging on the knobs and when he gets locked outside, I kid you not, he rings the fuck’n doorbell.
An overpass on the 110 in LA
We had to put my dad in a memory care center last month. This whole process just blows, but he was suffering at home too much and needed round the clock care. Besides, he’s got surrounded by hot nurses he gets to flirt with all day long now. As much as he says this “place sucks ass” and that he wants to go home, he’s loving all the attention he gets now.
Anywho, on my last night in town, right before I left for Los Angeles, he asked me if I had a boyfriend– he doesn’t remember anything these days so all he does now is ask questions. He wasn’t surprised when I said no since that’s usually my answer and he’s only met one my entire life. That was back in high school and he really hated “that arrogant prick.” The funny thing is, this topic has been on my mind a lot lately because when your dad is slowly dying, you start to question all aspects of your life and how your father will remember you. For instance, I recently realized my dad will die knowing I’m a waitress who serves BBQ in LA and can barely pay her bills, not the successful writer he’d hoped for. The thought of that made me cry almost every day, so I quit my job as soon as I got home from this trip.
And then the week before visiting my dad, I was at a wedding in Vermont. When I saw my friend’s father walk her down the aisle, it hit me… My father will never “give me away” While I strongly oppose the archaic concept of a man handing me over to another man like I’m fucking property or something… it sure would be nice to have the option of letting him do that. But no, instead, he’s gonna die thinking his daughter never found a partner to accompany her through life’s adventures (he knows better than to think I’ll let a man take care of me. “Sometimes I think you’re a little TOO independent Mel-nay”). Every since the wedding this idea had been wearing on me- he’s gonna die thinking I’m gonna die alone.
But then he asked when my last relationship had been and I said almost two years ago. “But he was no good?”he asked. “No. He was an Asshole. So I left.” He went into his classic speech he’s been giving me since I was a little girl about there being way more assholes than there are good men out there cuz most of them are rapists and murderers blah blah blah. When I admitted I’d rather be single or die alone than date an asshole and feel alone, he looked at me with a satisfied, proud grin. “That’s right. That’s how you should be.” And that’s when it occurred to me my dad won’t die worrying about me being single. He’ll die knowing I won’t ever tie myself to a man who isn’t kind to me. “It’d be HELL spending the rest of your life with some jerkwad!” he said. And then he repeated at least five more times that the world is full of rapists and murderers lol. Gotta love Alzheimer’s!
This conversation gave me a great deal of peace. Because I know now that it’s more important to him that he raised a daughter who knows her worth and won’t put up with bullshit than one he gave away to some Asshole he hated. That he’s proud of me for being so adventurous and independent and that he’s relieved he doesn’t have to worry about me. So I guess I’m not worried about me anymore either.
Slutwalk 2016 Los Angeles