Goonies Forever

Remember the Fertelli’s restaurant where the entire movie supposedly happened? Well, brace yourselves for this one: the restaurant didn’t exist. It’s just a bunch of computer magic. This, of course, doesn’t stop the millions of Goonies fans from coming anyways. The only things you’ll find on this empty lawn now are church youth groups having…

Florida Is More Southern Than the South

You won’t find many beaches, thongs or Cubans here in North Florida, but you will find about everything else. Like giant rocking chairs, big-ass trucks, and bigger-ass trucks, Things for the lawn, like sheds and other things for the lawn (sold alongside western wear and hay). Of course you’d find golf carts and oranges but…

How Bedbugs got me on Televison

On Friday, November 19th 2009, I was on my way to LA for a wedding when the Doctor Oz show came on. When I realized it was the show about bedbugs, I prepared myself for my first appearance on television in front of 5 million viewers I didn’t want to interrupt the guy next to…

The Taxidermy Strip Club

One day I was in this funeral home in Wisconsin. While looking for the bathroom, I found this room in the basement. These animals were having the time of their lives! They got to ride a ferris wheel (it was actually spinning), chat with their friends on the phone, and ride horses (although this guy…

People Who Live in a School Bus

My sister Shannon joined us for a whole week of Summer Tour! One day my sister, Dora, and I were driving through Olympic National Park in Washington and realized we really needed a bathroom. Pronto. We asked this lovely couple if there was a gas station around. They suggested we ask the people in the…

A Goddess Festival in Idaho

One day, Dora and I were driving through Boise, Idaho (on our way to the Potato Museum) when we came across these tents. Holy crap! It was a Goddess Festival! There were all these booths selling the coolest stuff like romance enhancement parties (for women only) crazy hair, face-painting, and SAND!!!! They also had a…