Who’s this Hamlett chick?

 

My Literary Agent:
Scott Mendel
Mendel Media Group, LLC
115 W. 30th St.
Suite 800
NY, NY 10001
(646) 239-9896

Melanie Hamlett

I’m a 3-time Moth winner, writer, storyteller, public speaker, and comedian living in LA.

So, now that we’ve gotten the  formalities out of the way, here’s who I really am:

I couldn’t figure out why, no matter where I went on this giant, random, crazy-ass planet of ours, people always seemed to think they knew me. I thought for the longest time it was because maybe I had a generic face (someone actually told me that’s why!). Or cuz people just didn’t pay attention. Or cuz maybe they were just stupid. But after enough friends and strangers have said this to me over the years, I finally believe them now- apparently it’s because I  make people feel comfortable.

(I will sleep just about anywhere)

I treat almost everyone I meet like they’re already a good buddy of mine. Not because I’m Southern or insecure or desperately want people to like me (though all of those were or are true at times), but because I just trust people. To a fault maybe. Until they give me a reason not to that is. On the rare occasion my gut tells me they might try to murder me, I might run away or give them a high-five first. But I still want to believe they are good people under their shadiness. I guess I just reeeeeeally like people. Until they give me reasons not to. I have this insatiable desire to understand everyone I meet, even if no one else will talk to thems. (This drives my poor mother crazy).  And since I’m so comfortable talking to complete strangers wherever I go, they, in turn, feel comfortable talking to me. Hence why they just assume they all know me.


So that’s  basically what I do best. I talk to people. A lot. I’m fascinated by humans, really. We are just so amazing and fucked up and beautiful and ugly, all at the same time. I love it when people expose all of who they are. Not just the version of themselves their egos are attached to, but their flawed selves too. Maybe that’s why I’m known as being so raw and “brave” and genuine on stage- because I just assume everyone wants to the real me, not my stage character.  I think being honest and self-aware about who you are, while not being the least bit ashamed of it, helps others feel okay about being who they are too. They stop hiding by being so defensive and fearful and, instead, relax into being the fallible, adorable assholes they are, just like me. I’m okay with my mistakes and shortcomings. That’s what makes me human. And I like helping others, through telling embarrassing stories, to be okay with their fucked-upness too.

(how I slept most nights during half my 20’s and now whenever possible)

There are two other things I’m pretty great at as well. Adventuring and storytelling. As you can see from my blog, there’s really not anywhere I won’t go. Curious, maybe to a fault even. That and I like to live right on the edge of my comfort zone. I lived in my truck for six years all over America and still sleep it in when I can, despite the fact people always tell me I’m gonna get raped and murdered doing so (sorry, I don’t believe in these alleged boogeymen everywhere). For those first six years out of college, I was a white water raft guide (even though someone died right in front of me on my first day), a ski instructor (even though I hadn’t a clue how to ski), an Outward Bound Wilderness Instructor (even though I kinda hated backpacking), and a climbing instructor (even though I’m terrified of heights).

(Salvador, Brazil) 

I bought a one-way ticket to South America in 2012 with no plan and hardly any money and ended up, among other things, picking strawberries in Argentina (which was hard on my back and boring as hell) and teaching English in Chile (which I had no idea how to do until I just did it). I lived in New York City for seven years (even though I thought I hated cities) and worked in the film industry that whole time (still not sure how I pulled that one off). I don’t have a bucket list because I want to do literally everything. I even thought at one point in time, as I was driving through the Lincoln Tunnel, “Wow, wouldn’t it be cool to work in a tunnel!”

Do you see what I’m dealing with here?

screen-shot-2016-02-22-at-11-52-21-pm(the truck I lived in for over five years all over America and still sleep in for fun sometimes)

And after I do all these “crazy” things that delight and/or scare the shit out of me, I come back to the normal-ish world and feel the need to write about them. Because storytelling is, like, my thaaang. I’m Southern. It’s in my bones. I mean, my family doesn’t even have conversations, we just tell stories at each other. So everything to me is a story. And telling them, whether it be in a memoir, a screenplay, on this blog, or on stage, is my favorite thing to do. Stories are what make us understand ourselves and each other and why the fuck we are even here on this planet. There’s a reason why we’ve been doing this shit since we were cavemen. We need stories like we need food. Some of us just like to tell them to larger audiences than others.

img_2269(top of a 12 pitch climb in Red Rocks, Nevada)

So this blog is about that. My stories. It started off with just travel stories and pictures  about living in my truck back in 2009, but it’s morphed into stories about all areas of my life- relationships, my dad’s sickness, aging as a woman in a society that values you most by how fuckable you are. Ya know, shit like that. I’ve got videos, podcasts, and even really personal essays about stuff I used to only share on facebook with my close 2,500 friends I don’t know the names of. I’m not just a comedian anymore. I want to be more than that. Comedy is just the language I speak to communicate much bigger thoughts and feelings. So this site reflects all sides of me now.

img_3071(before getting gassed at a protest in Chile)

I hope you enjoy cruising this site. I was too busy waiting tables at a shithole BBQ place here in LA for a couple years so I could pay my stupid high rent, so I couldn’t give any time to updating this blog. But now I’m back. Thanks for stopping by.

If you are interested in hiring me to story-edit or give you feedback on your writing/stories/scripts, or whatever, email me at melonious77@gmail.com. Stay tuned for a new addition soon in the Ask Hamlett section.

gilbert-pic

Elizabeth Gilbert thinks I’m good at telling stories, so that’s why I even bother. She’s a magical human being and I adore her. She blurbed my book after reading some of my stories.

Melanie Hamlett is smart and funny and sick and wrong and dark and playful and smart as hell…and I _love_ her.

-Elizabeth Gilbert, author of NYTimes bestseller Eat, Pray, Love 

 

IMG_3069

(⬆️ Fountain of Youth in Florida)

 

IMG_3665

(Me pretending to get in a fight on The Jerry Springer Show—I got VIP tickets cuz it was my birthday and a friend of a friend hooked me up)

man pillow

(Not my man-pillow, I swear. I’m just making fun of this hilariously offensive creation. It’s not even comfortable!)

 

(Stolen cop car! Just kidding. A prop from a film I worked on)

IMG_3177

(Rio de Janiero, Brazil)

IMG_9137a

(Prison Museum in Colorado)

IMG_2113

(Argentina salt flats)

(that dinosaur from Pee Wee’s Big Adventure)

(Snuck onto the set of The People’s Court)

(a gynocologist in Colorado)

(Pennsylvania farm)

(airport in Sweden when I was studying there)

(This is me doing a senior portrait at the top of a climbing route in the Patagonia mountains in Argentina)

Picture 12

(me inside a bowling machine)

(I can now add “Protester” to the titles on my resume, thanks to Channel 10 News and Occupy Wall Street)

 

(I guided for 4 season on The Rio Grande in Taos, New Mexico)

(the 3rd trailer I live in in New Mexico)

(and this is where I took a crap cuz we shit in buckets in New Mexico)

 

dsc01674

(I lived in a cubicle in at the Outward Bound office with 12 other people when I first moved to NYC)

camo trailer.png

(This is the first trailer I ever lived in New Mexico)

 

Picture 17

(and this is the one I lived in when I worked on a strawberry farm in Argentina in 2012)

 

 

 

27 Comments Add yours

  1. Doc Ivo says:

    For a chick [ your word not mine ] named Hamlett , why are there no stories about small villages or pigs ? Or villages of small pigs , or …pigs doing Shakespeare ?
    inquiring minds want to know..

  2. CC says:

    Heard you on Risk, loved your story!!!

    1. melaniehamlett says:

      Thanks for listening!

  3. Susie says:

    I also heard you on Risk and loved your stories! I laughed til I cried. You should come to Shreveport sometime. We have the Mudbug Madness Festival.. where its all about mudbugs ( crawfish ) …

    1. melaniehamlett says:

      When? that sounds AMAZING! Thanks for listening and reading!

  4. Nancy says:

    I’ve listened to your stories on Risk and you are hilarious! You have a great story-telling style.

    1. melaniehamlett says:

      Hey, thanks a lot Nancy! I try my best. If you feel like telling your friends, that would be awesome. And thanks so much for the encouragement.

  5. nic says:

    needed an image of confessional gogled & you came Up # 1 Now Im getting nothing done …

    can you explain to my boss why the proposal is late!

  6. Tim says:

    Heard you on RISK and enjoyed hearing your story. But I really enjoy this blog. I love traveling to out of the way spots and seeing what’s out there and your adventures make me smile. It’s like having a travel buddy without my having to travel. Here’s to more adventures. Best of luck to you.

  7. Evita says:

    You’re awesome!! Was sent your way by a mutual friend, Angel. I’m a fellow traveler myself and would love to exchange vagabond stories! Keep creating…

  8. TeNae says:

    Funny, I’m also a narcoleptic raft guide. 😉

  9. Janet Spicer says:

    Heard a couple of your stories on RISK, and loved them. You’re great. Keep it up!

  10. melz82 says:

    I want to write a book about *you*!!!!

  11. Shelley says:

    I must have just missed you.
    I lived in a motor home in Ojo Caliente, New Mexico for a bit.

  12. JBirdZilla says:

    I think I met you at Occupy Wall Street! I heard you on Risk today, and curiously went to your site and I saw your photos and I’m like 96% certain I met you 🙂 Your story about Argentina was awesome (not sure if you’ve told more than one), I feel like I saw myself in that story, hit close to home. I’ve always had the travel bug (lived in DC, NYC, all over Florida), and as competitive as I am, I always end up becoming friends with the girl who fucks the same people as me. It sounds creepy when I read it, but I think you get me.

    1. melaniehamlett says:

      I bet we did meet at Occupy! I was there! I moved to Argentina right after that. Friend me on Facebook, girl!

      1. Justice says:

        There are no words to describe how boodicaus this is.

  13. JT says:

    You are too rad! Your stories make me laugh so hard that I become a liability driving my car while listening to the radio, lol. Please never stop telling stories, I think every major podcast out there should be featuring your work!!!

    1. melaniehamlett says:

      Thanks so much! I appreciate the encouragement! It helps motivate me to keep at it!

  14. Carrie says:

    Thanks for your RISK story!

    1. melaniehamlett says:

      Thank you for listening!!! Feel free to Share it with anyone who might benefit from Hearing it!

  15. Erin Harper says:

    Hey Melanie,
    I heard your Risk podcast today, and I think I may have read about it on facebook before. I heard your story, and it rang so true…but even more than that, (I may be wrong) when I heard the way you talk, it rang even more true. Your attitude is like, ‘Dude, (hahahaha), that fucker fucking RAPED me last night! HAHAHA!’ I’ve said those exact same words. Exactly. You must be from Oakland. Haha, yes, that’s how we talk. ‘Fuck, Dude, 18 rounds were shot up on my block last night. But luckily, none of the rounds ended up thru my window. But, homeboy mighta raped me, haha!’
    Dude, and then, 6 months, 1 year, 3 years later, we finally break down. And people say, ‘WTF!!!??? Why didn’t you act so traumatized at the time? You laughed about it!? You’re just a stupid slut! You just want attention! You’re just a slut who wants to excuse your previous behavior.’
    Melanie, I’d like to connect with you if you’d like; I know exactly how you feel, and we may have many things in common.

    http://Www.dancingonthesea.wordpress.com

    1. melaniehamlett says:

      Yeah you get it. Most people laugh or are poker faces in trauma. It’s simple biology! The body can’t survive of its emotionally wrapped up in the reality of what’s happening. Totally, let’s connect!

      1. Erin Harper says:

        The poker face, exactly. Trying to convince our brains to ‘stay cool’ in the midst of trauma, so that we can better focus and survive in the moment…

  16. David Wayne Stephens Jr. says:

    I just found your website from a random Google search that I thought up, and after reading through some of your experience, and why you do all of this, I am very impressed with how you live your life!

    1. melaniehamlett says:

      Thanks so much! I’m glad you like it!

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