My French Riviera Vacation and a Weird Adult Summer Camp

 

These photos and videos are all over the place cuz this website kinda sucks and makes it super hard to move stuff around. Oh well!

St Tropez is this disturbing little town on the French Riviera full of the grossest display of income quality ever. Beyonce and Brad Pitt’s yacht’s where there that week and all the rich people just show off their money. So I wore a nice top, took some fancy-ish photos with my friend, then rode my bike back to our campsite. I prefer my style of travel. St. Tropez is pretty and all, but it makes you hate yourself for not having a life you might not even want. Most of these rich people seemed so fucking miserable and were on display in the harbor on their stupidly big yachts like animals at a zoo if the animals had all the power over the spectators and are ruining the planet. But c’est la vie!

 

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My surrogate dad for the week took this of us leaving camp on our bikes to go pretend like we have money on The French Riviera.

Not my boat nor did I go on it

Nice door to pose next to

 

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But my friend did it way better

 

I’ve been climbing for over 20 years and never in my life have I been so afraid of repelling. This artificial canyoning water park was so unsafe, the guides were super aggressive (even pushed my friend down a waterfall) and both of us left with neck injuries. But it was part of our French summer camp for adults so whatevs.

 

Road my bike four hours to get this photo

 

Summer camp in France has the best food ever, has a bar that serves wine all day and is basically a place where singles come to hook up (but I did not know that beforehand. I came here to do sports!). This week was fun but straight up bizarre. And 4 out of 100 spoke English so you can imagine how fun that was for me at my baby-level of French. But I’m getting better. I can hold long conversations. I just can’t say anything interesting yet.

 

 

Summer camp stand-up paddling.

 

This meat dress is the most bizarre but coolest thing I’ve seen here. It was at camp.

 

 

 

 

At French summer camp, they had this hypnotist guy who made everyone pass out. It was so weird. The show was also like 3 hours long so waaaaay too long. My friends got hypnotized and said it’s for real. I’m still skeptical.

 

(Society told me to fear my 40’s cuz I’d be totally unfuckable by then. They LIED)

 

A tinder date took this of me in Grasse, France. This was after he drove an hour to come get me and an hour back to his place. I got car sick on the way there, which was like 11pm, and he spent most the night taking care of my sick ass self instead of getting a piece of ass himself. We watched TV and he stroked my arm. These sweet French men know what’s up. And apparently, I am someone who gets car sick now! The next day he showed me around town, took this fabulous photo of me, then drove me back to my campsite on the French Riviera. I took some Dramamine so I wouldn’t barf in his car, so I was basically passed out or recovering from car sick about 90 percent of our time together. Then I snuck back into my bed at camp the next morning so my friend’s dad wouldn’t know his daughter’s 41-year-old buddy is sneaking out go tindering on family vacation, though we’re pretty certain he’d be proud, not judgey. My dad’s dead, so I can’t sneak out on my real family vacation to go meet boys anymore, but it’s good to know I’ve got a European dad who plays that role now.

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The dorms! (everyone was between 21-45 years old)

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(at night this was where people were hooking up because everyone shared a dorm with like three other people)

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(I was the insane American doing WORK on vacation- the French don’t do this. They have a much healthier mentality about work)

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(Pate at dinner in the shape of an animal)

 

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(The hookup board–French men are super shy sometimes, so this board let them leave notes for girls they wanted to talk do). Again, I got zero notes, but all these dudes on tinder were nearly harassing me to take me out. So funny how much easier men talk to me online. Either it’s the language thing or I’m really intimidating.

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