(performed at The Upright Citizens Brigade Theater-Sunset in February)
Click here to see the performance. I had to cut about 5 minutes out of it, so I had to rush through or cut out some of my favorite stuff. But it’s still one of my favorite slideshows I do.
I’ve been told this is the most offensive story I perform. Maybe so. But I don’t see it that way. I was a horny ass woman living in nyc and hadn’t been so much as touched by a dude in over a year (I think it was two actually). So of course my mind was elsewhere when I ended up at the Jesus-themed amusement park, where this outdoorsy Brad Pitt look-alike, who just so happened to be playing the son of God, was shirtless and moaning and consoling people and defending women who’d been called whores and were about to be stoned to death by a mob of assholes (not the mention the fact he gently touched my right shoulder with his giant hands in the cave after communion). I mean, c’mon! I’m human. And a woman in her 30’s.
Either way, it was a nice break from bearing my soul on stage for a night. People got to laugh at a place instead of another tale of Melanie learning hard lessons through really fucked up interpersonal situations.
Ps- everyone always tells me after the show that this is the most fucked up thing they’re ever seen so I really do enjoy this. There’s one lady in the audience you can hear whispering “Oh. My. God.”