What an exciting last day at the memory care center! Miss Mary (the one my dad calls an asshole to her face) came out into the living room area in a sexy night gown, went up and rubbed my dad’s bald head (like she tends to do), and straight up propositioned him lol.
“You want to come sleep next to me in my grandmother’s bed?” (She is obsessed with the fact that her grandmother’s old bed is in her room and yet she is also surprised by it every single time she comes into the room “Oh dear, look! It’s my grandmother’s bed!”). When my dad asked her what the hell she was asking him, she pulled at her sexy nightgown and asked him again to come join her in her grandmother’s bed. “Fuck you!” he yelled. The nurse, Lyla, said “now Miss Mary, you get on outta here with your short nighty and leave Mr Bob alone now. He’s a married man!” Miss Mary got all sad and said, “I used to like you, Bob, but not when you’re mean like this!” He looked her square in the eye, “FUCK. YOU.” And then Lyla chased her on back to bed.
These moments of hilarity are little gifts to our family. Because my dad just had a few rough days and has been really hard on himself. He pissed his pants enery single day I was there, at least once, usually twice a day. And then yesterday he had the runs and literally shit all over himself and all his clothes THREE different times. Whenever he has bathroom issues, he always shuffles back to his chair with his walker, plops down both defeated and rattled, then says things like “I’m sorry,” or “I’m a piece of shit” or “I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me.” It’s heartbreaking to see him so demoralized by the fact his body keeps betraying him. No just his mind but now even his bowels.
During my last visit the nurse told me he shit himself and while she was cleaning him up, he broke down crying and said “this is just so humiliating,” and then he apologized profusely. I will say this, it would be far more humiliating for him to have his wife see him shitting himself and then cleaning it up for him, so I’m glad there are nurses in his life now to spare him what little dignity he has left.
This has all been hard to take in, seeing him so emasculated with his diapers poking out of his pants. But then, last night, one of the married women, Mrs. June, went missing (not The Escape Artist I posted about earlier this week. She was asleep already lol). They found Mrs. June in another woman’s room, crawling into her bed as the lady who lived there was yelling in her quiet voice from her recliner, “Help! There’s a lady in my bed!” Mrs June went missing earlier this week too and they found her sound asleep in a man’s bed who wasn’t her husband (worry not- he was sick in the hospital that night so she was alone in his bed.) The day before yesterday they found her in the laundry closet.
This place reminds me so much of life in general. Super fucked up and tragic and sad a lot of times, but so crazy and ridiculous that it’s just too fucking hilarious.