PODCAST: The Most Important Story I’ve Ever Told

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My domestic violence story just came out today on Risk! They dedicated the whole hour to my story (instead of having four performers like usual)  cuz Kevin is awesome and he thought this story might help a lot of people (it’s funny though I swear!).

This right here is the real Melanie Hamlett. This is not the Melanie you usually here on stage or podcasts trying to make people laugh (though, again, this story is funny, I swear!) or hiding behind jokes. No, this is me opening up my heart and telling the most personal story I have to a million listeners the way I would tell it to a friend. Or how I would write it. If you like it and/or know someone who might benefit from hearing it, please please plesse share it. Knowing I would turn this tragedy into a something that might help others get through their own personal hell one day was literally the only thing that got me through this fucked up time in my life. So Enjoy!

Here’s the link

11 Comments Add yours

  1. Kay Laird says:

    Melanie,

    Thank you, thank you for reminding me that I am Unbreakable too.

    1. melaniehamlett says:

      Thank you for listening and for this message!

  2. Janice says:

    I loved your story! I can relate and I’m sure 1000’s of other women can too! I know your story will help others. It just has to. But hey – would we have listened at the time we needed to? All your details, and the steps that it happened in….. Why are they all the same? Why are all the psycho’s and their red flags and steps to isolating us away from our friends and the world the same? And the guilt, the loss of self-esteem we all experience, and they all play the “kill myself” card…. I’m just at a loss for words. How do they all do it – without knowing what they are doing?

    Your story was amazing! And very entertaining! Thanks for sharing – you’re saving lives! And your Unbreakable and Stronger for everything you’ve been though. So am I. Hugs Lady!

    1. melaniehamlett says:

      It’s almost like these behaviors are instinctual. Cuz you’re right- the story is almost ALWAYS the same, minus a few changes in details. Thanks so much for your message! It means the world!

  3. janetspicer says:

    What an affecting, deeply disturbing story, told with humor and grace. I hope it reaches many women in a similar situation who don’t yet realize they’re not stupid or weak for ending up there, and that they can get out. Here’s to your hard-won unbreakability.
    xoxo

    1. melaniehamlett says:

      Deeply disturbing but funny is kinda my specialty, but this one is just off the charts in that respect lol. I’m so glad you enjoyed it and that you also understood why I told it. I just hate the way we speak about women in these relationships (as much as I hate the way we call the men “monsters”). It’s dehumanizing and cruel so I hope, if nothing else, this story will help people empathize more. And I hope it will comfort women who’ve been in my shoes and who are afraid maybe they are damaged goods now. Quite the opposite if you work hard to never ignore those red flags again!

  4. Kevin says:

    Dear Melanie,

    I am one of those monsters.

    I was the guy who was controlling, who had mommy issues, who feared (fears) being rejected – being alone.

    I was the one who was manipulative because I couldn’t bear being alone.

    I was the one who couldn’t take care of himself – not really.

    I saw myself as sensitive. I never deserved to be left.

    So what if I got angry? So what if I threw things? So what if I said awful, hurtful things?

    They deserved it. They were leaving. They had no faith in me.

    They were leaving.

    It wasn’t until my second wife (second!) left me that I finally decided to get myself checked out. I mean, I’m fine. It must be her, right?

    Turns out, I have bipolar disorder.

    Now, please don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting that my disorder in any way excuses my behavior. Because it doesn’t. And I will always bear the weight of who I was.

    But here’s the thing: once I was diagnosed, I have done, and continue to do, everything in my power to be a better person. I’m conscious, or try to be, in every moment, of how to be in a relationship.

    I can’t be that guy any longer.

    I’m not there yet.

    I take my meds and see my shrink but the weight of my guilt is my albatross.

    Your story meant more to me than you will ever know and, I hope, will take me to the next level.

    I have no expectation of being forgiven for what and who I was. And I try, always, to be a good man.

    Your story, though, has given me real hope. Your compassion – for yourself and for Jesse – is truly inspiring.

    Thank you for helping me to remember that I am a whole person and not just a monster.

    And thank you for your compassion.

    K

    1. melaniehamlett says:

      Thank you SO MUCH for this message. And for being so brave to speak about it. It was really important to me to humanize Jesse because this “monster” label people give men like this is just cruel and unfair and I think they do it to make themselves feel better. But how does that help anyone? It doesn’t. And it certainly doesn’t stop the problem. If anything it makes it worse. And more isolating for both the abusers and the abused. So thank YOU for giving ME hope that rehabilitation is possible. I really wasn’t sure if it was, but I hoped it was. Because I saw how much Jesse suffered from the lies he told himself. How they imprisoned him and ultimately killed any chance of him every having a real human connection that was long-lasting. And the idea of that still makes me sad for him. I forgive him. You should try to forgive yourself. I have done a lot of fucked up things I’m not proud of too, but they forced me to change, and that’s really all life asks of us- to grow and change and always strive to be better. I hope this message brings you some peace. You’re so brave for sending me this message. I have no doubt you sharing YOUR story will help other men in your situation too.

  5. Laryssa says:

    I’ve been creeping on your blog for a few years now, and I just listened to your story on Risk. I love you even more for sharing your story in such an honest and real way. Listening to your story helped me, who has found herself in a few unhealthy relationships over the years; I always end up blaming myself for getting involved in a terrible situation and beating myself up, even though – as my friends and family say “you did the best with the information you had at the time and you opened your heart.” You are so self aware (though I’ve sure you’ve gone through a lot of crap to get there), and your awareness has given me hope and helps me forgive myself for going through a life-long process of allowing vulnerability while simultaneously loving myself. Side note: I think I saw you outside Lyric Hyperion about a month ago after a storytelling show, but I wasn’t sure if it was you for sure. If it really was you, I wish now that I had said “hi” and told you how much I appreciate your presence in the world. Sending you lots of love, and I hope to hear/see more of your work in the future. ❤

    1. melaniehamlett says:

      Awwww. What a fantastic message to get! Thanks so much for saying all this and for supporting my work! And yes, that was me!!!!

    2. melaniehamlett says:

      You should friend me on fb!

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