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Melanie Hamlett

not asleep at the wheel

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Tank Crossing

Posted by melaniehamlett on October 17, 2014

(Somewhere near the Arizona/California/Mexico border)

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Stumbled upon this after a day of climbing

The Second amazing climbing gym I’ve been to here

Adorable French game that involves all of us being on a shit together

Last night this guy, who shall remain anonymous, saw the cow pillow and died laughing and said “Get that thing away from me. I don’t wanna laugh in the bedroom.” He was joking but I guess he doesn’t rely on humor the way I do. Maybe that’s the difference between me and normal people? I want to laugh all that time, especially in my bedroom. I want to wake up and be reminded first thing, every single morning, that life is funny. Cuz it’s hard to get out of bed sometimes, especially as 1) a freelancer with zero structure and 2) someone in a country where you don’t know the language yet and are still trying to build community. I have too much time but not enough. I have no structure whatsoever and worry about my visa and what I will do for work to pay for this amazing apartment and about my dating life and my writing career and about my parents’ health and one of my remaining ones dying too and what the fuck I’m doing with my life. Constantly. It’s all so overwhelming every day. I feel so lost and full of fear first thing every single morning. My ego shakes me awake and screams “Yo! What the fuck you doing with your life, loser?!” But things are fine once I just get out of bed and leave the apartment. Then I’m fine! All my fears fall away and I’m sure I’m in the right place and trust it will work out. So getting out of bed is quite literally the hardest part of my day. But It’s a lot easier to do that when I remember, thanks to these monkeys and a cow in a dress, that life is full of joy if you have the proper attitude and shift your focus from fear to gratitude. Laughing helps me do this. Laughing is how I have gotten Thru everything in my life, especially the worst of it. So I laugh everywhere but especially in the bedroom.

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