My Amazing Night In A Motel

I never pay for things like motels. Why would I when sleeping in their parking lots is free? Unfortunately, though, it’s too cold to sleep in my truck in the wintertime, so I had to give in this last December when I drove from NYC to New Mexico. I actually paid for a place to sleep!

I’ve heard that Super 8’s are decent, so I figured a Super 40 must five times more super.

Having everything I owned in the back of my truck, it seemed smart to stay somewhere with lots of people, lights and activity. Like a motel next to a happen’n bar.

(or maybe it was a strip club)

The lobby of The Super 40 wasn’t open, so the lady took my money from a bulletproof window. She told me she had one of the nicest rooms left and that it was non-smoking. Perfect!

This motel was environmentally friendly. They didn’t waste money and resources on things like brass numbers.

My room had everything I’d hoped for and more. Like impressive art work.

Even the non-smoking rooms had ashtrays by the bed, which I appreciated. I don’t like to rule out my options.

Even the lighting was perfect. Having the light bulb exposed made it super easy for me to replace the burn-out one myself.

The best part, though, was the “no-bible” factor. I am not a Christian so not being reminded that I’m supposed to be came as a relief.

I’ve stayed at hotels with my family before, and I remember there always being all these stupid rules. But not at this place!

You can punch the walls

and use them for practicing your stabbing skills.

The best thing about my amazing motel’s walls, though, was this

Yes, that’s an incense stick in the wall

Freak’n brilliant, right?

Now, if any of you have read my story about bedbugs (or watched me on the Dr. Oz Show as the “bedbug victim”), you’ll know I’m really paranoid of beds now. So, I did what anyone should do in any motel.

I put my luggage far, far away from the bed

And I did a good mattress check

I didn’t find bedbugs, but I did find burn marks. You’re even allowed to catch your bed on fire in this place!

I also found food, which was perfect! I was super hungry and all the restaurants in town had already closed for the evening.

Even though I didn’t find bedbugs, I decided to not sleep in the bed. But, that’s okay because they had this super comfy tv stand anyways.

The next morning, when I went to check out in the office, I found out there was no office, only a room full of upside-down furniture and plants. This place really was green, just like I thought.

I was a little shocked to see an empty parking lot the next morning. How could I have been the only person staying at this awesome motel?

I guess all those cars in the parking lot had been for the bar/strip club place next door.

Either way, Viva Oklahoma City!

One Comment Add yours

  1. Emily. says:

    I am actually laughing out loud. Okay? So when you read this, know you brought me some much needed humor. Service in action. Off to acrobat class.

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