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I Doubt People From New Orleans Would Ever Ride This

Posted by melaniehamlett on March 14, 2011March 14, 2011

It’s called “Hurricane Simulator” and probably only sold to malls in land-locked states like New Mexico.

I bet they come out with “Earthquake/Tsunami/Nuclear Explosion Simulator” next.

(Santa Fe, NM)

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My dad’s wearing this hilarious bandage cuz he leaned too far forward in his wheelchair and fell on his head. He’s fine. Just slurping down a shake like nothing happened (he doesn’t remember). But the bad news is he’s now going to be receiving hospice treatment. Apparently that doesn’t mean he’s dying so much as they are shifting his care from prolonging his life to making his life comfortable. He’ll still get treated for minor things, but not major ones. They’re tired of sending him to the emergency room every few weeks. The good part is he will get a ton of attention from extra nurses and stuff. The bad news is they believe he is in the final stage of his life. The Alzheimer’s isn’t what’s actually going to take him out we don’t think but rather his kidney failure stuff. It’s what’s causing all his problems lately. Anywho, I hope he makes it til June. Longer I hope. But at least June. I’ll have two weeks home with him. Also, my stepmom can’t handle another death right now. Losing her mom and dad in less than six months of each other was enough. Losing her husband would be just too much for one person to handle in a year.

I hope every man I know will read this. And every comedian. Cuz it’s the same shit in all bro industries. We are all trapped in this stupid circle jerk! Link in bio

BIG WEEK, y’all. Another piece I’m super fucking proud of just got published in OUTSIDE MAGAZINE. This is about being a toxically masculine feminist. In trying to fit in with the boys, I became worse than them. Any woman who’s worked in any industry dominated by men (comedy, outdoors, the film industry, tech, offices, etc, etc) will know what I’m talking about. Men who work there will too, as I know a lot of you don’t like this toxic bro culture. You didn’t make the rules, you just play along with them. I get that. This piece isn’t meant to criticize any of the men (well almost any of them) that I worked with. I loved them dearly. Those days on the river were some of the funniest and happiest times of my life. Most the men I worked with were and are awesome, good dudes. They respect women and they respected me. They just didn’t know how harmful their banter was or what it was like hearing that bullshit all the time. Also, the tender moments I shared with them were cut from this piece, which is a shame. Please share this if it speaks to you. It’s my first for Outside Magazine, I worked on it for weeks, and I care about this topic dearly. If it does well, they’ll let me write more for them. Link in bio

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