Hot Knight in Florida

One day my sister and I came across this castle in Orlando, Florida. Upon investigation, we fount out the owners of the castle host a huge dinner party every night.

So we went back later that night.

The place was totally packed

For some reason, the crowd consisted of mostly children

and grandparents

The hosts made us wear red crowns

and segregated us according to crown color in the dining room.

Before dinner the queen welcomed us to the party.

Then some dude on a horse informed us we were about to see a joust!

As we waited for the drama to unfold, servers came out and explained what we would be eating that night

For some reason these people don’t believe in silverwear, so we had to eat with our hands. The chicken was delicious

but I got a little sick of chicken.


Luckily I’d brought along a tupperware container full of veggies and hummus, which was a bit messier

The hosts also objected to napkins, so I spent the rest of the night dealing with hummus hands.

Right after the busboys collected all our plates, a hot knight came over to the red crown section

and threw a rose into the crowd.

I didn’t catch the rose, unfortunately, but that’s okay. They were selling plastic glowing roses. And light sabers

They also sold the kind of necklaces one finds at raves.

The jousting was a bit boring to tell you the truth

But you know what wasn’t boring? Watching good-looking dudes romp around on horses.

Unfortunately, the knight in green, which I thought was the cutest, turned out to be the bad guy. Everyone booed him, which made me sad. How can you boo a hot knight?

After the jousting was over, they sent us back to the lobby, where we danced to techno music

while hyper-active kids beat each other with their light sabers.

While I was in the bathroom

my sister got a frozen strawberry daqueri at the bar. Lucky for us, she discovered the bar is where all the knights like to hang out.

My sister tends to attract the nice guys.

I, on the other hand, tend to fall for the losers. Like the ego-maniac king

the socially awkward knight

and the dude in green that everyone boo-ed. We really hit it off actually.

My sister left early, but I stayed behind and partied with my naughty knight. It would have been a perfect night had I not accidentally parked the rental car in the employee parking lot.

This security guard came after me and told me never to return.

I guess it’s a good thing, now that I think about it. I really don’t need to be messing around with bad boys anymore.

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