Goonies Forever

Remember the Fertelli’s restaurant where the entire movie supposedly happened?

Well, brace yourselves for this one: the restaurant didn’t exist. It’s just a bunch of computer magic.

This, of course, doesn’t stop the millions of Goonies fans from coming anyways. The only things you’ll find on this empty lawn now are church youth groups having lunch

and babies.

My sister and I got over the restaurant shenanigans once we realized what was behind us.

Twenty-five years ago, Mikey stood in this very spot with the key to One Eyed Willy.

Well, I didn’t have a key, so I made my own.

It worked!

Dora had a go at it

but her key to One Eyed Willy sucked

Just like the Goonies, we headed down to the beach to see the pirate ship

My memory may be off, but I don’t recall there being a well-groomed path down to that beach in the Goonies

The beach itself looked different too. Remember all those rocks?


In the movie, they allowed big ass trucks on the beach.

Not now. Only these stupid buggies

Since the pirate ship never showed up, we did other fun beachy stuff.

Dora tried to build a sand castle

but she sucked at it. My sister convinced her being buried is waaaay more fun.

My sister doesn’t much like Dora.

And now, Dora doesn’t much like my sister.

Plus, she’s jealous of how close my sis and I are.

It didn’t take long for us to realize the One Eyed Willy’s rock looks just like a boob!

You don’t have to be a Goonie to have adventures on the Oregon coast.

And you don’t have to be a teenage boy to think like one.

The End

If you haven’t seen my other Goonies adventure where I do the truffle shuffle with a total stranger outside of Mikey’s house, click the link

One Comment Add yours

  1. Shannon says:

    Loved it!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s