One day I was driving through Richmond, Virginia when I came across this house
I thought the owners were crazy doll house fetish people
until I realized
they were just Elvis enthusiasts!
Me: Oh my God, Dora….
…We made it to Graceland afterall!
Dora: Well, Miniature Graceland. It’s not quite the same. Elvis never lived here
Me: Fine be a fuddy duddy. I’m gonna go look for Elvis.
Dora: Fine. I’ll be by the pool.
On my exploration of the property, I found Elvis’s car museum
The house he grew up in,
(I couldn’t believe he had baby statues almost as big as his house)
and the church he got married in
When I peaked into the windows of Mini Graceland
some rooms looked just like I had imagined Graceland would be
like the jukebox room
but others were a total mess
like the piano room with the fallen over Christmas tree
and the unplugged piano with missing keys
The kitchen appeared as if Elvis had smashed everything in a drunken rage
And the outside wasn’t any better
The statues were all knocked over
and the pool Dora was laying out by….
Me: Dora, come here! Elvis is live in concert!
Dora: No he’s not. It’s just a stupid sign
Me: Yes he is! Um, by the way, you need to put that jumpsuit back on. No one wants to see your potbelly
Dora: I hate that stupid jumpsuit.
Dora was right. The “concert” was at the miniature Concert Hall
(with an insanely large flag pole!)
and didn’t have the real Elvis.
only a stupid mini doll Elvis.
Me: F@#k this place! Let’s tear it up!
Dora: Ye-ah! Demolish Graceland!
Shortly after the demolition
the guilt set in
Me: Dear God. I’m sorry. I don’t know what got into me. Please forgive us
Dora: Speak for yourself. I thought that was fun
On our way out, I gave a nice donation to the golden mailbox so they could rebuild what we had destroyed
and that’s when I saw him
Elvis: This one’s going out to the beauties in the front row
Me: That’s us!!!!!
Elvis: Watch the arm, hon
Dora: Ewwww! Look at his missing eye. He’s like a pirate.
Me: Shut up. He’s my pirate.
Elvis: Hands off the mircrophone too, sweets
Elvis: Hey, I love your hat. Can I wear it?
Me: OH MY GOD!!!!
Elvis: Hey now. Hands off the jacket….
…I’m a married man with a daughter (even if she did marry that loser Jackson)
It was the best day of destroying Graceland and touching Elvis on Summer Tour 2009 ever!!!!
If you liked this story, you might also like this link below about the Tiny Town in Pennsylvania
or this story of going to jail in a tiny town of tiny houses