Monthly Archives: November 2009

The Weirdest Locksmith Ever

One day, while driving though Forks, Washington, my sister and I stopped at Jerry’s Lock and Key to get a key cut

On our way inside we noticed chairs all over the place

and these signs in the window.

At first we were attracted by the “Twilight Prices Slashed” announcement.

Then we noticed all the other signs.

– patriotic stickers
– only one dollar to mail any package!
– and, best of all, Assembly of God cookbooks for only $10!

While we didn’t see any locks or keys in the store, they did have Twilight photo id tags,

liscenses to bite,


and more shelves of Twilight stuff

like anyards


even Twilight Varsity Jackets!

I started to think this Lock and Key only sold Twilight stuff

until I came across these amazing over mats!

Then a few minutes later, while I was looking at these Twilight photos

I noticed they sold Headstones

Even better, headstones with pictures!

Since they couldn’t make a copy of our key, we left.

On our way out, we noticed a gas station attached to the Lock and Key Store.

After waiting for twenty minutes for this guy to fill our tank

we realized the gas station didn’t actually serve gas

but it did serve amazing Mexican food. I love Mexican food. Yummy!!!!

Least productive but most delicious day of Summer Tour 2009 ever!!!!

Camp Attitude

One day I was driving through Oregon when I came across this camp

At first I thought it was for people with bad attitudes

After poking around though,

I came across this sign.

which explained this sign.

(Well, everything but the detective aspect of the disabled happy face)

Best camp I’ve come across on Summer Tour 2009 ever!

Best Gas Station Ever

Twilight Motels

Besides all the Twilight tourist attractions, the town of Forks also has Twilight Motels with Twilight rooms

Some even had Twilight heated pools!

Of all the motels, I respected this one the most

For their honesty.

Best Twilight Motels of Summer Tour 2009 ever!

The Twilight Subway Sandwich

One day I was driving though the town of Forks, Washington. I’d heard vampires live there, so I was on the look-out

I stopped at this gas station to get some popcorn

but I was too scared to eat if after I read this sign. It might be hot.

While standing in line for the bathroom, I noticed the drag racing contest.

That’s when I discovered my first sign of Vampires.

I went looking around for more clues about vampires when I noticed this back room.

The subway tapes had nothing about vampires, but they did make me realize I was craving some subway.

While debating about which sub to get from Jared’s suggestions

I noticed another vampire sign

This vampire suggested banana peppers and Jalepenos, but I’m not a fan

I decided to go with the Twilight sandwich instead

While choosing a bag of chips to go with my sub

I noticed they sold Twilight hats

That’s when I started to notice this gas station /subway was more into werewolves than vampires

Jacob eats there every single day!

Not only did they mostly sell werewolf shirts

like my sister bought

but the Twilight chocolate

only went towards educating tweens and werewolfs. Not vampires

We decided to eat somewhere else that might have vampires

but the only other restaurant in town was this chinese place

Dangit! Jacob had a monopoly on all the restaurants!

We left and went searching elsewhere. Stay tuned……

Best day of vampire hunting on Summer Tour 2009 ever!

Pet Cemetery

One day I was driving through Kansas and saw this hearse

I still haven’t figured out why it has a shelter built over it.

But I did figure out why it’s there to begin with

I’m guessing this is a pet cemetery, but no one in their right mind would name a place after a terrifying Stephen King novel

On the same property of the pet rest was a storage unit and a moving company

I’m sure this place is nice, but I think they’re lying. Dead dogs can’t vote, silly!

Potato Musuem Part 2

One day while walking through the Potato Museum I got a little bored, so I went and got Dora from the truck.

While I was looking at the world’s largest collection of potato mashers

Dora played with a new friend


Me: Hey c’mon. Let’s go through the cellar


Dora: Oh my goodness! Look, look, look!


Dora: A giant potato scale!

Me: Yeah, well don’t break it
Dora: He-ey. That was unnecessary.
Me: I know. I’m sorry. I’m just in a bad mood. Try not to be so annoying today, okay.
Dora: Okay. Hey look…


I can move a giant potato sac all by myself!
Me: Yep.
Dora: Look at me. I’m Godzilla on a farm and I’m gonna crush you little tractor. Roar!


Me: What you’re doing right now? That’s the definition of annoying. So stop it.
Dora: Hey look. A potato cutting machine

Dora: I can cut potatoes like nobody’s business


Me: Hey, you see the old fashion way of cutting potatoes?


Dora: Yeah.
Me: Well that is what I’m going to do to your face if you don’t stop being a jerk


Me: That or I’ll put you up on that shelf


Dora: Hey. Get me down.
Me: Are you gonna stop?

Dora: Okay fine. Now will you get me down….Hey, what’s that machine?


Me: It looks like a ride. Why don’t you go lay on the conveyer belt
Dora: Okay, fun!

Dora: Hey wait a minute. This thing is scary.
Me: If you keep your promise, I’ll save you from getting smashed like a potato.
Dora: I’ll do anything. Just help me. PLEASE!!!

Me: You have no sense of humor, Dora. I wouldn’t have let that machine murder you. C’mon. You know me better than that.
Dora: No, I don’t. You’re really convincing sometimes. And you really scared me
Me: Alright, alright. I get it. Let’s go to the gift shop. I’ll buy you one of those Spud Bob Starchpants T-shirt to make it up to ya

Dora: Can I have a Darth Tater shirt instead?

Me: Even better!

Dora and I also bought some cards for friends. They had Mr. and Ms. Potato Head cards for any occasion

and more specific cards for



Valentine’s Day

and even baby showers!

On our way out of the museum, this lady gave me a complementary potato bag

and on our way to the truck, Dora and I got a picture by the sign

in front of the world’s largest baked potato,

portion of sour cream, and slap of butter

These guys asked us to take their picture too
but really I think they were hitting on us

When we got back to the truck, I opened the potato sac the lady had given us


Holy Crap!


Hash Browns!!!!

That’s right. The sign at the museum had mentioned something about that

Best day of receiving free hash browns of Summer Tour 2009 (and my entire life) ever!