Hot, Waxy Presidents (Part One)

Dora and I went to the Presidential Wax Museum next to Mt. Rushmore. It was the first time I spent more than $3 to see a museum, but it was worth it to teach Dora about American History
presidential museum

We signed the guessbook, grabbed a self-guided tour device, and examined the hand with amputated fingers on the table
I put my device back since I know all there is to know about our presidents.

Dora was stoked to meet Obama

Me: This is our current prez, Dora. You know all the rest. HOLY CRAP! T.V.!!!! It’s been months!

Dora tried hanging out with some new friends while I watched a creepy movie


Dora: I’m tired of talking to these snobby girls. Can we please go see the presidents?

Me: Just let me see what they do to Frankenstein’s face first. Then we’ll go, I swear.

I finally pulled myself away from the movie and started showing Dora around

Me: So these are our Founding Father

and they were notorious for having delicate, lovely hands.

Me: And these are the kind of parties they had back in the day. No ruffies or beer…. party

…..Just good old fashioned cherry Kool-aid.


Me: Um, these are the Native Americans that gave them the land
Dora: But I thought we stole it from the Native Americans.
Me: Yeah, whatever. Let’s go see Teddy
Me: Teddy Roosevelt was famous for killing a lot of animals….and that’s about it I think

Me: This is that dude from Russia who had the big red thing painted on his forehead. I think it’s some Asian tradition….

…..He’s most famous for wood dolls though.

Me: This is Reagan. That dude who forgets stuff I think. That or he’s crazy.
…I mean, what is he looking at?

Me: Now this is Stalin, a normal looking dude, and a man with a cape on. They were all pretty good buddies.

Me: I don’t know any of these folks except for Elanor Roosevelt. She pretty much ran the country for her hubby, Frank
Dora: Hey! Who are these guys?
Me: Um… they are the ones who sent people to the moon after testing out those bubbles for space suits

Me: These are the losers who didn’t win the lottery to put their face on mountain.

Dora: Who’s that cute boy?
Me: Since when do you notice boys?
He’s probably a president’s kid.
Me: I think he’s that Johnny-Johnny kid.
Me: Well, whoever he is, his Dad is freak’n hot!

to be continued……………..

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