Wax Museum Debauchery (part 2)

…..cont’d from yesterday
WARNING: I strongly suggest not reading this post if you are my parents or offended easily

We were at the Presidential Wax Museum and I was giving Dora the scoop on all the former presidents (that self guided tour device was crap anyways).

I had just come to my favorite (and the hottest) president of all time.
kennedy
Me: Unfortunately, Dora, the world is cruel sometimes. This poor guy was killed in a car crash in Texas I think.
Dora: I thought he was assassinated?
Me: Like I said, killed in a car crash.

plane
Me: They had the funeral in this plane. That’s Jackie in the middle, his Mom on the right, and his extended family thanking her for the Bible she just gave them.

blood
Me: For some reason, homegirl doesn’t know how to use feminine hygiene products. I can’t believe they would include that detail in this museum.

Me: I wonder if JFK ever regrets
jfk.closeup

marrying a transvestite. I can’t believe our country was so liberal back then.
jackie.2

Me: Oh, Dora, don’t bother with that dude. He was in the Peace Corp or something. That’s all I remember
carter

al

Dora: Who is this guy?

dora.gore

Me: Oh, he’s that angry guy. He gets really mad at people, according to this museum, so stay away.

W

Dora: And what was Bush known for?
Me: Being the guy in charge when 911 happened

911

florida

cheating

gore:bush

and being stupid.

Dora: How about President Clinton?

sax

Me: Saxaphones….

mel.suck

and this.

Me: Hey Dora, there’s people coming soon. Now’s your only chance.
people2

people.abe

Me: Do it, Dora. It’s hilarious
Dora: But—
dorasuck2
Dora ran to the bathroom all upset. She sure can be moody.

Me: Dora, what are you doing in there? We have one more exhibit to see.
urinal
Dora: Nothing. I just thought I was going to vomit for a second.

When Dora finally came out of the women’s bathroom (which actually had a urinal in it) we went to the grand finale of the presidential wax museum tour.
bush.sr
Bush Sr. is considered the MVP of all the Presidents.

We had to find our way through all these dolls to get out of the museum
dolls2

Me: Hey Dora. Wanna go play Holy Terror Mini Golf like Obama suggests?
puttputt

Dora: No, I’m hungry. My lunch is in that urinal.

We didn’t think we’d find a place to eat outside the Doll Gift Shop/Presidential Wax Museum
outside

but we were wrong. They had pig roast
cafe

at the Executive Order Cafe.

Best Day of making my doll do inappropriate things to Clinton on Summer Tour 2009, ever!

OUTTAKES FROM THE WAX MUSEUM

dorasuck
This isn’t as easy as it looks

off
I was waaaaaay off center on this one

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