Dora and I came across the Bicycle and Space Museum in Sparta, Wisconsin one day.

Although we don’t have much in common, Dora and I both have been wanting to be astronauts since we were kids.

I have at least 20 years more of wanting to be an astronaut, so I deserved it more than her.

The Bicycle and Space Museum was full of

antique bikes

creepy manequins dressed up in ski and climbing gear

space related things

and exercise equipment, like stationary bikes

Me: Dora, these bikes are amazing. I’d like to ride one. The museum won’t mind I”m sure

Dora: I can’t see. You have my carrying bag facing the wrong way Miss.

Dora: I’m afraid we’re gonna get in trouble for this.
Me: You’re so freak’n paranoid, Dora. It’s not like we’re riding the bikes. We’re just pretend-riding. No harm in that.
Dora: But —
Me: Shut it.

While pretend-riding the bike, I started to daydream about being an astronaut one day.

Dora had the exact same dream

We decided were gonna go for it. It takes a lot of training to become an astronaut.

I let Dora do the studying for the both of us.

She became so knowledgable about space, she was asked to give a lesson at the museum.

Because of all the candy in her pinata belly, she had a hard time standing straight on the podium.

Lucky for her, the musuem electrician gave her a spot

Sure enough, Dora became a full-fledge astronaut!!!!

She was sworn in as the first child astronaut ever!

Right before she was to take off, I had a little chat with her

Me: Look Dora, I know you think you’re all that and a loaf of bread, but you just got lucky. You should bring me with you to space
Dora: But I could get in trouble for sneaking someone in the spacecraft

Me: Oh, I see how it is. I rescued you from being beaten to death with an umbrella at that bar (stay tuned for that story), but you don’t see anything wrong with ditching me for space. NOT COOL…..BTW, lose the space suit. That color looks stupid on you. It clashes with your mouth.

Dora finally came to her sense and brought me along with her on the space mission.

Everything was going well

until we saw the astronaut mummy

We came back to Earth right away

and got the hell outta there

Despite almost getting murdered by a space mummy, it was the best day in Outer Space of Summer Tour 2009 EVER!!!!