Seeking Enlightenment In Psychic Town. (Part 2)

(Continued from yesterday’s post)

I went to Cassadaga, Florida to explore this town of psychics.

I couldn’t decide which road to go down. They both seemed equally amazing.
Almost every single house on this street had a “medium” living there




or they had spiritual things like buddah’s with mardi gras beads

Even their dormitories were spiritual

I eventually came into the town center. This lovely meditation garden offered me a chance to get grounded.


I tried to connect to my loving Goddess of the Universe
Me: What the fuck should I do now loving Goddess Spirit of the Universe?

Meditation Garden Lady Statue: Take you’re hat off for starters, you disrespectful little c—(bleep)

Meditation Garden Man Statue: Yeah. What she said.

Me: Screw you guys. Okay, what now Loving Goddess of the Universe?
Goddess: Go seek truth and a spiritual teacher. And don’t talk to me with a trucker’s hat on next time by the way

I tried to take a Course in Miracles at one of the many spiritual schools, but they weren’t open.

So I tried to go to Spiritualist Camp

But they were closed too.

I even tried to go on a Guided Walking Tour to find some spirits to talk to, but they didn’t do weeknight tours.

Then I came across a memorial to the Founding Father of this town. According to the sign, a prophesy was made when he was little that he would start this town. And he did! I ‘m not sure if that is psychic powers or the power of suggestion.

I tried to study at the school dedicated to him, but it was closed as well.
Me: What the fuck Goddess? What do you want from me? I’m trying to follow your suggestions and it’s just not working. What now?
Goddess: How bout getting a soft drink. You look parched.
Me: I was hoping you’d say that.

But of course, the cafe was closed.

I saw this and two things grabbed my attention

How come a psychic needs an alarm system? Shouldn’t a psychic be able to predict intruders?
Vending machine! Yes!

But the vending machine was out of order of course.

Oh, but wait. What’s that behind it?

BIG GULPS!!!!!! And 3 of them! There was something comforting about psychics not being too good for gallon size mugs of corn syrup.
Me: Goddess, you are so good to me!
But after 3 big gulps, I had to pee. Thank God the psychis predicted that tourists would need a public bathroom.

Me: Okay, Goddess. I’m gonna walk around this town one more time. Just give me a sign. I don’t know what I should do with myself here.
And that’s when I saw it

Me: BINGO!!! My favorite fucking game. This is why I am here, Goddess?
Goddess: You damn right it is. These psychics abuse their psychic powers when gambling, so I have made it so that they all suck at bingo. You need the money. Go get ’em girl.

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