Monthly Archives: December 2010

My favorite gas station threat

(somewhere in Kentucky)

This was my view when I woke up this morning in Taos, New Mexico, where I’ll be living for a bit. After one plane ride, 3,500 miles of driving, multiple visits with family and friends in Florida, Kentucky, and Tennessee, a trip to Disney World, a sleepless night at the sketchiest motel in Oklahoma City, and bouts of sadness throughout this two week period of time over temporarily leaving the city and friends I adore, my transition adventure has come to an end.

Soon I’ll finally get to do what I came here to do (write my booty off),but first things first – housing.

And so the new adventure begins……

My Mom and Stepdad live in this amazing antebellum home in Kentucky now. On Christmas we got to eat dinner in their fancy dining room using their best china.

Unfortunately, I’m allergic to everything they served, so I ended up doing a Melanie-friendly meal

When I realized just how ridiculous my part of the table looked, I of course took a picture.

1) a cracked tupperware container that used to be full of cabbage
2) a bowl that used to be full of cinnamon (for dipping foods into)
3) a tall-sided bowl to contain the food pushed around by my fork (I try to avoid plates whenever possible – I’ve ruined too many lovely tablecloths)

This is actually what I do at every meal, even special holiday meals. I’d certainly be annoyed eating next to someone like myself, so here’s to my loving, tolerant family.

I took this picture at a gas station in Kentucky yesterday. I thought the spelling error was quite humorous.

And then I noticed this

I now have a new favorite gas station.

I went to the Jerry Springer show a couple weeks ago (more on that story later). This is their lobby, which they share with The Maurey Povich Show

While you wait in the lobby for the Springer show, you watch clips of the show on this tv next to the cut-out of Maury Povich

I guess poster-cut-out-Maury Povich celebrates Christmas even though real life Maury Povich is Jewish.

(Stamford, Connecticut)

They were selling these hats at a gas station in Georgia yesterday.

I know it’s cool and all to be a redneck these days, but in the South, a racist redneck is the ultimate goal

I went to Disney World yesterday (that story later). Everything in that park is Mickey Mouse themed and costs about 30% more than it should. But it tastes like Mickey Mouse, so it’s worth the money.

I’m obsessed with that holiday movie, A Christmas Story.
I tracked down a mini version of the leg lamp in Queens

and the real thing in a bar in Nashville!

Kids these days are encouraged to play with fire instead of stuffed animals.

(gas station somewhere in Tennessee)

I took this picture at the Nashville airport. At first I thought this guy with the guitar was an idiot for thinking he could bring a giant guitar as a carry-on. After the flight attendant told him she’d check the bag for him at the gate and that it would be waiting for him the moment he stepped off the plane, I changed my mind. This guy was a genious! I’d just paid $25 to check my little suitcase and there was no guarantee it even made it on the plane. This guy figured out a way to avoid the fee and keep his luggage safe – just play stupid!

Of course, five minutes later he actually brought said guitar on the plane as if that entire conversation hadn’t just happened. When the flight attendant made him go back and drop it off by the door, he looked puzzled. So perhaps he wasn’t playing stupid after all. Nevertheless, he taught me, the five people around him, and anyone reading this now how to beat the system and save twenty-five bucks. Pretend the rules don’t exist, but if/when they call you on it, just act like a dumb musician.