One day I was walking around Madison, Wisconsin when I came across this guy with a mustard mustache.
Wouldn’t you know, I’d found The Mustard Museum!
While it appeared to be a museum at first
with its thousands of mustard bottles
and its tasting tables
it was more of a gift shop obsessed with mustard
It sold mustard
from vending machines
and mustard themed items
like t-shirts
as well as hot dog stuff too!
like the hot dog tie (w/mustard of course)
hot dog pinatas
and hot dog stress balls.
They also had famous celebrities endorsing mustard
like Jenny McCarthy
and even a movie made about mustard
but they got a woman to play Will Smith unfortunatley
Speaking of movies, they had a mustard movie theater!
Luckily, it was a matinee, so there was hardly anyone there.
me and the motorcycle couple learned how mustard can help you sleep well
and make you a great cowboy
I was a little creeped out when I noticed
the giant mustard bottle staring at me from the back of the theater
and the lady sitting over the door
As it turns out, she was a student at Poupon U (pronounced Poop On You)
The museum was also a Poupon U bookstore that sold
toilet seats
and scrubs
speaking of school, the mustard museum seemed to think ketchup caused stupidity,
was a gateway drug,
and would only bring you bad fortune
But I’m not easily persuaded. Besides, mustard seemed to be just as bad of luck
Just ask this woman who got soaked at the mustard display
On my way out the door, I noticed all these pictures of this guy with glasses
When I tried to find out from an employee who he was
I was given an autographed mugshot
This is apparently the proud owner of the mustard museum. And he’s Famous!!!
