Monthly Archives: November 2009

One day I was driving through West Virginia when I came across this store.

While I was curious to see what kind of collectibles they had and what a supplie was

I was a little afraid the store actually sold slavegirls.

Fortunately, they didn’t. Instead they sold baseball posters,

giant basketball players,

Nascar drivers who love Coca Cola,

Star Wars figures who love Pepsi,

and a guy who I think is deceased.

They also had large collections of dishware

and pumkins

comic books

and outdated campaign signs

Native American figurines

and snowmen

and dolls. Lots of dolls

Basketball, wrestling and baby dolls to name a few

They also sold boxes. Lots of boxes

And crutches.

I almost left empty-handed

until I came across these Full House Playing Cards. My favorite show of all time!!!!

Best collection of unrelated stuff in a store on Summer Tour 2009 ever!

I found the largest mailbox I’ve ever seen in Espanola, New Mexico

While the bricks helped give it a lift

the steroids were mostly responsible for its hugeness

I suppose anyone who moves entires houses for a living needs a strong mailbox

One day I was in Tennessee preparing lunch on my tailgate.

While I was eating my lunch in this peaceful park,

I looked behind me and noticed

The Parthanon had been moved to Nashville, Tennessee!

Not only did the Parthanon have the most amazing Greek God stuff, it had

super nice public restrooms

outdoor activities like kites

and paddle boating on a huge lake

and best of all, affordable public housing right behind it!

This place was WAY better than Athens

One day I was driving through California when I realized my tires needed some air. So I stopped at this gas station

An EXTREME gas station!

Not only did it have xtreme racing fuel and an RV Dump,

but an XTREME convenience store too!

It was a dream come true. Green is my favorite color

Monster my favorite drink,

and ATVing my absolute favorite outdoor sports (yes, destroying sensitive vegetation is a respectable sport)

The Xtreme convenience store didn’t just sell Monster stuff like

Monster energy drinks,

Xtreme hot dogs and popcorn

and Xtreme fountain drink

They also sold old fashion candy sticks

and gum balls!

After I checked out their huge selection of hats

and Oakley sunglass and goggles

I got distracted for about an hour by the exciting drag racing competition on the tube

Believe it or not, they sold Monster car parts too!

like car doors

and bumpers!

I really wanted to get something Xtreme, like a Monster umbrella,

Monster legs,

a Monster electric guitar,

or Monster shirts,

but I went with a bohemian purse instead

While I was happy with my new purse, I vowed to myself I’d come back one day. And when I did, I’d be able to afford

the creepy alien goggles

the giant sandal

or maybe even my all time dream come true

a Monster ATV.

Best day of window shopping of my travels ever!

Mathematical evangelicalism

One day my sister and I were driving through Washington and had to use the bathroom really bad. So we stopped here

at the exhibit hall/tourist information/chamber of commerce

We were greeted by this lady and her poodle

and then her grandkids and Lab.

While the lady gave my sister information about the area, I tried to convince her grandson to let me in on a game of solitaire.

We passed by some of their exhibits on the way to the bathroom. While I thoroughly enjoyed

the collection of logging equipment

the giant pile of sticks

the wooden men logging and sitting in a rocking chair,

and the prison clothes,

the miniature carousel was my favorite.

While my sister checked out the dentist chair

and the history of dentistry

I investigated rocks

and came to believe they do actually float. (How could I have been so wrong all these years!)

We also learned about the people from the Castle Rock area. Not only do they like hats, but they also seem to have some major physical deformations

like being decapitated,

missing their arms

or having really bad skin diseases

like this guy who played for Team Barbeque

We eventually found the bathroom. While we were in there my sister looked at a map of Washington

while I watered the plants

(since it was Wednesday)

Thank goodness we’d just used the bathroom. I might have otherwise peed myself when I saw the giant cougar on the wall

which was way more terrifying than Bigfoot

who was actually a pretty tender creature

Even the birds thought so.

The exhibit center also had a large collection of books

that they loaned out

free coffee

snacks

(well, they weren’t actually edible)

and best of all, a piano!

Before we left, we read about the exciting events of the area

like winning first place in a parade

being on American Idol

and proving that Bigfoot actually exists!

On our way out, we went to their gift shop that sold coffee mugs

and wheel chairs.

It was the best place I’ve stopped to use the bathroom on Summer Tour 2009 ever!

One day I was driving through Kansas when I came across this giant easel.

The only thing cooler than the world’s largest easel and Monet painting

is a red barn

selling homemade jerky behind it.

Thank you Bubba’s!

Best beef jerky on Summer Tour 2009 ever!

One day, while driving though Forks, Washington, my sister and I stopped at Jerry’s Lock and Key to get a key cut

On our way inside we noticed chairs all over the place

and these signs in the window.

At first we were attracted by the “Twilight Prices Slashed” announcement.

Then we noticed all the other signs.

- patriotic stickers
– only one dollar to mail any package!
- and, best of all, Assembly of God cookbooks for only $10!

While we didn’t see any locks or keys in the store, they did have Twilight photo id tags,

liscenses to bite,

Flags…

and more shelves of Twilight stuff

like anyards

mousepads

even Twilight Varsity Jackets!

I started to think this Lock and Key only sold Twilight stuff

until I came across these amazing over mats!

Then a few minutes later, while I was looking at these Twilight photos

I noticed they sold Headstones

Even better, headstones with pictures!

Since they couldn’t make a copy of our key, we left.

On our way out, we noticed a gas station attached to the Lock and Key Store.

After waiting for twenty minutes for this guy to fill our tank

we realized the gas station didn’t actually serve gas

but it did serve amazing Mexican food. I love Mexican food. Yummy!!!!

Least productive but most delicious day of Summer Tour 2009 ever!!!!

One day I was driving through Oregon when I came across this camp

At first I thought it was for people with bad attitudes

After poking around though,

I came across this sign.

which explained this sign.

(Well, everything but the detective aspect of the disabled happy face)

Best camp I’ve come across on Summer Tour 2009 ever!