After Dora got her new body, the first thing she wanted to do was go swimming. We walked around the Wyoming town of Dubois (pronounced dew-boys) to find a pool, but this is the only one we could find
Me: Hey, I’m all about sneeking into hotel pools Dora, but I refuse to walk through that death trap of an entrance. What’s next on your “things I couldn’t do before because I was made of paper mache” wish list?
Dora: How about playing the piano?
Me: Yeah, I guess not having fingers is why you sucked so much at piano before. Now you can play piano and flick people the bird.
Not two minutes later, we came across this man playing the piano in the middle of town.
He said he couldn’t let Dora play because it went against store policy, but I think he’s just prejudice against people with heads too large for their bodies.
Surely there was something on Dora’s list to do in this town. When we saw this cowboy statue, Dora remembered that riding animals was something she’d struggled with before.
Sure enough, we came across an animal to ride only minutes later. A jackalope of course.
It apparently wasn’t her old body that made her suck at riding jakcalopes. She just naturally sucked.
Me: You know, this thing looks more like a dog than a jackalope anyways
Then I realized the real jackalope was inside.
Me: Come on. Let’s go inside
Me: Dude, this is just like that time in Wall Drug. Remember?
When we went inside to find the jackalope, we discovered the most amazing gas station ever. What it lacked in selection of products to buy, it made up for in arcade games, fast food….
and even a pool table!
We asked the guy working the counter what the deal was with the jackalope. He didn’t feel like roller-blading over to show us, so he just pointed to the box.
Apparently people aren’t allowed to ride the jackalope anymore. Only sit on it.
This baffled me until I saw the sign on the other side of the box
I am guessing they had an incident in the past with someone 433 lbs? What would happen if I weighed 432 lbs and a half? Would I ever see a sign like this in any other country in the world?
Me: Dora, come on. Get it together. Just sit up already!
Dora: I’m trying!
Me: Hey, that rollerblade dude is checking you out.
Me: Atta girl!!!
Dora: Please don’t talk to me like I’m a dog.
Me: Hey watch this.
Me (to rollerblade dude): Hey, can I get a picture of you two together. She thinks you’re hot.
Rollerblade Dude: Sure! KISS Forever.
Dora: I don’t want to kiss you. But you are kind of cute. What are the earrings on your lips for?
Rollerblade Dude: You’re too young to understand. But the chicks love it. Gene Simmons forever!!!!
Best gas station on Summer Tour 2009 ever!!!!