…..cont’d from yesterday
WARNING: I strongly suggest not reading this post if you are my parents or offended easily
We were at the Presidential Wax Museum and I was giving Dora the scoop on all the former presidents (that self guided tour device was crap anyways).
I had just come to my favorite (and the hottest) president of all time.
Me: Unfortunately, Dora, the world is cruel sometimes. This poor guy was killed in a car crash in Texas I think.
Dora: I thought he was assassinated?
Me: Like I said, killed in a car crash.
Me: They had the funeral in this plane. That’s Jackie in the middle, his Mom on the right, and his extended family thanking her for the Bible she just gave them.
Me: For some reason, homegirl doesn’t know how to use feminine hygiene products. I can’t believe they would include that detail in this museum.
Me: I wonder if JFK ever regrets
marrying a transvestite. I can’t believe our country was so liberal back then.
Me: Oh, Dora, don’t bother with that dude. He was in the Peace Corp or something. That’s all I remember
Dora: Who is this guy?
Me: Oh, he’s that angry guy. He gets really mad at people, according to this museum, so stay away.
Dora: And what was Bush known for?
Me: Being the guy in charge when 911 happened
cheating
and being stupid.
Dora: How about President Clinton?
Me: Saxaphones….
and this.
Me: Hey Dora, there’s people coming soon. Now’s your only chance.
Me: Do it, Dora. It’s hilarious
Dora: But—
Dora ran to the bathroom all upset. She sure can be moody.
Me: Dora, what are you doing in there? We have one more exhibit to see.
Dora: Nothing. I just thought I was going to vomit for a second.
When Dora finally came out of the women’s bathroom (which actually had a urinal in it) we went to the grand finale of the presidential wax museum tour.
Bush Sr. is considered the MVP of all the Presidents.
We had to find our way through all these dolls to get out of the museum
Me: Hey Dora. Wanna go play Holy Terror Mini Golf like Obama suggests?
Dora: No, I’m hungry. My lunch is in that urinal.
We didn’t think we’d find a place to eat outside the Doll Gift Shop/Presidential Wax Museum
but we were wrong. They had pig roast
at the Executive Order Cafe.
Best Day of making my doll do inappropriate things to Clinton on Summer Tour 2009, ever!
OUTTAKES FROM THE WAX MUSEUM
This isn’t as easy as it looks
I was waaaaaay off center on this one
