Daily Archives: August 4, 2009

Are We Working Women or Whores?

Dora and I are starting to run out of money, so we’ve been brainstorming about how to make a quick buck. One day in South Dakota, our prayers were answered

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Unfortunately, Dora and I both SUCK at panning for gold. We felt defeated and were about to leave when we heard someone whistle.

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Mountain Man: Hey there ladies. I’ll pay you five bucks to sit on my lap.
Me: Sure! Come on Dora. Let’s go.

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But Dora wasn’t being very cooperative
Mountain Man: What’s wrong with the little one? I ain’t gonna pay you if she’s gonna have a bad attitude about it
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Me: COME ON DORA!!! What the heck’s wrong with you?
Dora: I don’t want to. My Dad always told me Santa Clause is the only man’s lap I should sit on.
Me: Well Santa Clause is just as much of a perve as this guy, so what difference does it make? Just do it. We need the money.

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Dora: But–
Me: Shut it.
Mountain Man: How bout holding my hand too?
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Me: Sure
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Me: See Dora. This is fun! And we have five more dollars of gas money.
Dora: Yeah but it seems wrong.
Me: Well, so is global warming, but you still take showers don’t you?
Dora: No, I don’t actually. I can’t get my paper mache head wet.
Me: Good point.

Best day of selling our bodies on Summer Tour 2009 EVER!

If you didn’t see the story of Santa Clause the perve at the elephant museum, click here http://melaniehamlett.com/2009/07/30/strange-elephant-museum-part-2/