Daily Archives: July 30, 2009

Strange Elephant Museum (Part 2)

If you want to read this story in order, go back and read part one by clicking here:
http://melaniehamlett.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?action=edit&post=2501

While Dora was in time-out in the car, I explored the inside of Mr. Ed’s Elephant Museum.
elp1

Not only were there bags of peanuts larger than picnic tables outside
elp.peanuts

The screened-in porch was full of peanuts and peanut-related things as well

IMG_4928

and a globe

They even had a peanut mascot!
mr.peanut

The next two rooms had thousands of elephant items
IMG_4932

elephant toys, lamps, statues
IMG_4933

pajamas
jammies
you name it, Mr. Ed had it.

Mr. Ed was not a horse as I had imagined, but a jolly old man.
elp.ed
He was in town selling lemonade snow cones that day and couldn’t be there. (no joke)

If you didn’t have time for his hour long video, you could read a quick personal letter from him to you
sign2
I think the year he had on that piece of tape was wrong though.

After being at the museum for over two hours already, I realized I really had to go to the restroom.
toilet3

The only other option was the nasty porta-john out back
outhouse2

Desperate times called for desperate measures.
toilet
Luckily, no one caught me….if Dora had been there, she would have taddled on me for sure. Thank God she was in time-out.

I signed me and Dora’s names in the Visitor’s book
book
then went shopping around the store for some fudge (Mr. Ed is a man of many talents and obsessions)

elp.sign

The little boy standing in chocolates creeped me out
elp.choc

and I wasn’t in the mood for a “cholesterol free, All American FUN Burger.”
elp.burger

So I went to the Pez room.
IMG_4943

I thought about getting Dora a Star Trek pez since she’s obsessed with that show
pez
Then I came to my senses and remembered she was bad and didn’t deserve jack.

I was a little let down that Mr. Ed would sell rebel flags and playing cards at his store
flags
especially next to the Kazoos and wooden yo-yos

Then I saw the Abe Lincoln walking stick and felt better about him.
lincoln

Just as I rounded the corner, I came to this exciting sign

signmirror

I thought the whole museum was for kids until I saw this sign
kids

The magic mirror was just a stupid fun house mirror.
mirror
I was really disappointed in Mr. Ed again

until I came to the room with pictures of Mr. Ed’s famous friends
IMG_shanaia

Shanaya Twain
aechie

The ENTIRE cast of Archie Bunker
IMG_4949

and Bozo the Clown

While looking at an old photo of Mr. Ed, I saw this sign
IMG_4950
I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to talk to Santa in July

IMG_4950
.

Me: Santa, can you make an evil Pinata child into a cool person to hang out with?
Santa: If you sit on my lap five more minutes, I’ll do anything you want sweetie.

That’s when I realized Santa was grabbing my ass with his mutant Hulk hand
santa2

and I got the hell out of there

In the car, Dora was needy as ever
IMG_5022

Dora: Did you buy any fudge Miss Melanie?

IMG_1105
Me: HA! You wish. I did buy some STAR WARS pez and it was DELICIOUS

IMG_5020
Dora: Oh.

Best day with dora in TIme-out on Summer Tour 2009 EVER!!!!