America is a pretty religious country. Though I’m not a religious gal, my own personal spirituality is pretty important to me. This story isn’t meant to offend anyone or attack religion. It’s just me being goofy and having fun with the unusual religious stuff I find around the country.
While Dora and I travel from state to state, we’ve been noticing that every single state has stuff like this
and this for example.
We pulled into a truck stop late one night to crash. When I crawled out of my truck the next morning, I noticed Noah’s Arc in the front yard
Me: Hey Dora. This is pretty neat, huh?
Dora: Sure.
Me: Are you kidding me? It’s a giant ship at a truck stop. I think I saw a plank up there. Let’s go walk it!
Dora: I don’t wanna walk the plank. I’m scared of heights
Me: Oh, quit your bitch’n Dora. That’s all you ever do is complain.
Dora: But —
Me: Oops.
Me: Sorry Dora. I’ll save you. Hang on. Don’t drown.
Dora: This is fun!
Me: You think this is fun, wait til you see what I just thought of
Me: I’m the kind of the world.
Dora: I’ll never let go Jack.
Me: Um, get your lines right Dora. Rose doesn’t say that until the end of Titanic when Leo dies. And no offense, but Kate Winslet wasn’t a child or Latino.
Dora: You mean, Latina, Miss….I don’t understand. How come you get to play a boy then?
Me: Um, hello, Dora. We’re just pretending here.
Me: Hey, I got a great idea. Watch this.
Dora: Miss, this doesn’t seem right.
Me: What are you talking about? Remember that sign we saw on the road? I’m just imitating that Church billboard.
Dora: But, Miss, those people were just standing in front of a cross, not pretend crucifying themselves, right?
Me: Okay, whatever Dora. Can you move your arms up in the air a little?
Dora: Sure …..Wait, Miss! I don’t want to be pretend crucified.
Me: Too late. If I’m going to hell for mocking Jesus, so are you. Actually, you’re going to double hell since you’re probably Catholic.
I’m gonna go again. This is fun
Dora: Miss, I think this is really disrespectful.
Me: You’re a real stick in the mud, you know that?
Later on, I got to thinking. Maybe I would burn in double hell with Dora for mocking the crucifiction. The thought terrified me. Luckily, I came across these T-shirts at the next truck stop.
I bought this one for Dora
and this one for myself
It’s all good. Dora and I are both going to heaven again. Problem solved
Best religious day of Summer Tour 2009 EVER!
