The last time I went to play games with the random men I met on craigslist, I ended up getting married. My surrogate Grandpa gave me away.
My family back in Tennessee had never met my new husband (or any of my craigslist friends as a matter of fact) so my sister came to represent the family and give us their blessing.
Well, my new husband couldn’t make it to Game Night this week. I didn’t want my sister to know our marriage was on the rocks, so I told her he had to do laundry that night.
I pretended to be happy, but all I could think about was drowning my husband in the bathtub if he came home smelling like Elizabeth Taylor’s White Diamonds perfume again
My sister hit it off with everyone. She’s a very likable gal.
We were one big happy family (minus my bastard husband)….
until the Game Master insisted on playing Tug-O-War with my sister.
It’s a tradition at the Game Parties for all new attendees to play this game. He usually likes to fight us himself.
But sometimes the Game Master turns us on each other. He even made me fight my surrogate Grandpa to prove my loyalty to him one time
Sis: This is so hilarious. What a funny guy you are, Game Master
Game Master: Fun in the Sun.With a gun. You’re a nun. Almost done -
Me: Sis! Watch out! He’s starting that rhyming game he does right before he’s about to murd–
Game Master: Shut up or you’re next
Even as he was taking my sister down, she still thought it was all a game. (She didn’t understand that a “game” in his mind encompassed a wide range of activities, from cranium, to rhyming, to murdering people).
and before I knew it..
she was dead.
Game Master: Please don’t hate. Wanna date? In Kuwait. Interest rate —
Me: YOU BASTARD!!!!!!!!!
Not only was my marriage failing, but now my best friend/sister was dead. And that’s when a rage came over me. NOBODY MURDERS MY SISTER! NOBODY!
I grabbed the Tug-O-War rope (which was really the waiste strap from a bathrobe)
and strangled the shit out of him
Game Master: Lactate… Milk crate…
Game Master: Pol–lin–ate…..
He was dead.
I did my celebration dance.
I’d finally gotten revenge on all the times he’d murdered me before.
after Tug-O-War
and when he threw me out the window.
But then I got to thinking
Am I becoming the Game Master?…. This wasn’t my first kill after all.
I’d killed a girl in Joshua Tree because she voted for Sarah Palin at the absentee ballot voting booth I’d worked at
But I’d gotten away with it because I’d hidden the body so well
And now this!
MY GOD! I’M A MONSTER!
To see the entire story of murdering someone who voted for Palin, click
http://melaniehamlett.com/2009/06/09/i-met-sarah-pa…in-joshua-tree/
To see the Game Party he threw me out the window, click:
http://melaniehamlett.com/2009/04/16/69
To see any of the other stories with the game master
http://melaniehamlett.com/past-craigslist-adventures-beyond/
